The Crazy/Amazing Spiritual Adventure Behind My Farewell Talk

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being as forgetful as i am Heavenly Father had to make
my farewell talk something that i will not soon forget
but i feel like out of all of the people that were there,
no one knew all of the details of how crazy/amazing
the story behind my farewell talk truly was!

{because i have experienced these amazing blessings
sent by my Heavenly Father i feel obliged to
grow from them, remember them, and share them!}

so i went to my bishopric to confirm that i would be speaking September 20th.
2 days after my 19th birthday and a little over 2 weeks before
i will enter the mtc. (due to general conference and fast Sunday).
when a couple weeks later i realized i forgot to ask what my topic was
 so i went back and asked and their response was reverence!
then i realized i forgot to ask them how long i would be speaking
when i went to ask them, they sarcastically told me i would be speaking
the whole 30 minutes!
they they told me that i would really just be speaking 15 minutes
because i would be sharing the time with another speaker and the ward choir!
 i was totally cool with that because this was going to be my first talk
 longer than 5 minutes and probably my 3rd or 4th time up on the stand speaking!!

i tried to start preparing for my talk about 2 or 3 weeks out.
i printed every talk that i could find with the word "reverence"
and then i started highlighting! while i found some amazing stuff i just felt like something was missing..... like a focus or goal to the whole thing.....
then my missionary friend who is serving in Guatemala gave me the best advice!
he told me,
"find a way to inspire people to action while remaining humble"

after that it just clicked!
i knew what my topic was going to be and i worked on my talk 
as much as i could in between 2 jobs, going out with the sisters, 
working in the temple, and actually getting sleep!

and let me tell you, the gift of remembrance is a very real thing! 
i found myself remembering and realizing things that i would not have on my own!
one morning as i woke up at 4:30 to get ready to go to the temple, 
i realized a pattern of reverence that has been there through out my whole life!
as i drove to the temple i planned out how i wanted to tell the story 
and when i got in the locker room i prayed that i could remember 
the story so i could write it for my talk.

then another time i was just mowing the lawn 
and then by the time the last blade was cut, i had received 
a greater understanding in how the 10 commandments relate to reverence! 
with 2/3 of my talk already written, i distinctly remember thinking, 

"maybe i shouldn't include this, my talk already seems 
like i might go over the 15 minute mark..." 

almost immediately that thought was corrected with, 

"ummm no, this is revelation from the Lord. 
He has guided me thus far on what needs to be 
said in this talk so i just need to trust that this, 
like everything else i have received, needs to be included 
and i'm just going to trust that it will all work out!" 

so as i continued to receive inspiration, i continued to add to the talk.

once i had it all written out, I had an impression to remove this long and 
very repetitive story so I did but I was still nervous I would go 
a little over my allotted 15 minutes. 
when i told this to my grandpa he told me,
"if you go over, they will forgive you."
i never did end up timing the whole thing. 
every time i tried to(and i tried MANY times), the timer was prematurely 
stopped either by my wandering mind, someone calling me to bed, 
or my need to stop and correct. 
oddly enough, i ended up being grateful for it because it allowed me to 
attribute everything to the Lord and to have to trust the Lord more completely
(not that i recommend this to anyone in the future.....)

of course, just to make things more interesting, 
over night i became very sick with a cold. 
the morning of i went to add the final touches to my talk and to print it off. 
but it wouldn't print! 

i became flustered and scared. 
i asked for help from my older brother as
the darkest of doubts entered my mind and holding back tears,
 i ran up stairs. but before i got far, my dad asked me, 
"honey whats wrong?" 
my tears burst out and my first thought went to 
all of the excuses i had: 
i'm sick, 
no one is helping me, 
this is hard, 
i'm trying to be ready,
 but once i had ran those all through my head, 
i realized while these things were true, 
my problem was was rooted much deeper. 
i finally blurted out the truth, 
"i'm scared!" 
i rested my head on my dad's shoulder 
(yes, 19 year olds still do that!)
 my dad hugged me and told me to not be afraid because all i had to do
was trust in the Lord and not to worry because He has this all planned out. 
he was right! with a new resolve i headed back downstairs.

soon after that the printer started to work! 
of course it was because of my awesome older brother 
and the fact that he changed the color from black to blue 
but i had a new mindset and a new resolve to trust in the Lord. 

all set i headed to church and 15 minutes before we were to start, 
i was the only one on the stand. 
5 minutes later president J sat next to me and i asked, 
"are you speaking with me?" 
and with wide eyes he said,
"no...."
 i waited a while as the chapel filled but no other speaker came forward. 
my mind started to wander back to the last time 
i was sick and in front of a huge crowd of people
it was the end of sophomore year and my choir was participating in festival
 where all of the choirs of the district come together and participate
 in a competition/workshop. luckily, my school was the hosting school 
so we didn't have to travel but there were many many school camped out
 at ours for the day. i wasn't feeling very well but i knew i had to get out
 onto the stage because my grade depended on it! all was well...
 until about the third song.
 i started to get very hot 
and my legs felt like they were turning into jello.
 i clenched my fist 
and tried to make my stance sturdier
 but the next thing i knew,
 i was on the floor 
and this random dude was all in my face.
 i had just fainted!
in front of many other choirs!
 it was SO embarrassing!!!
went home just so i wouldn't have to hear people talk about me... 


my focus flashed back to the chapel when i saw the member,
 whose name was on the program to speak, 
walk in his eyes were so big and he was looking around so confused. 

i told myself, 
"alrighty, time to buckle up megan!"
 then i said many prayers that basically all said, 
"Heavenly Father, i know you have a plan, 
let me have the faith and the strength to fulfill whatever it may be!" 

the meeting started and i continued to create scenarios as to where the other speaker was. 
maybe he walked in and then realizing 
what day it was went straight home,  
maybe he decided to sit with his family during sacrament 
(how sweet!), 
maybe the speaker is someone I haven't met 
but had the same name as the member I saw! 

when the sacrament was finished the bishop got up to announce the program
 and i hung on his every word, 
"there has been a slight change to the program. 
our choir will be singing first 
and then megan roskelley will be speaking.... 
And we will continue to that point." 

i was shocked but instead of panicking 
it was almost as if the Lord said to me, 
"do not fear, i have prepared you for this very circumstance." 
finding out that i was the only speaker was like 
someone telling me it was raining. 
i knew it was going to rain 
and my Father made sure i was all set with rubber boots on my feet, 
a jacket over my shoulders, and and an umbrella over my head. 
i was ready to weather a storm 
even though i was only told to prepare with a light jacket for a drizzle. 
(always prepare for the storm!)

the choir finished and before standing behind the pulpit
 i went over to my bishop and asked, 
"alright bishop, how much time should i take?" 
his response: 
"as much as you can! 
and then president K will fill the rest!" 

so i got up there. 
i started off trying to joke about how i was sick but no one laughed... 
i then joked about my circumstance in the moment 
and everyone who understood laughed.... great.... 
i started out very nervous but once i got going it went really well! 
before i knew it i was already 20 minutes into the meeting!!! 
with the finishing of my testimony with the word, "amen"
 i made it all of the way to 30 minutes! 
i sat down and president K talked for 5 minutes.
when the meeting was over many loved ones congratulated me, 
telling me that i did a really good job! 
many told me, 
"it didn't even look like you added anything to your talk!" 
my response: 
"i didn't! that was word for word my talk!"
 i was just as amazed!
 either Heavenly Father knew that the second speaker 
wasn't prepared so he prepared me 
or what he had prompted me to write needed to be said
 so he cleared the schedule on my behalf. 

another comment people made was that i am truly the child of my parents.
 "i can fill time like my father and i am actually fun to listen to like my mother!"
 i had to laugh! 

many people also told me that even the little primary children of the ward
 were talking about my talk which is crazy because i talked for the full 30 minutes! 
no kid listens to the speakers in church, especially for 30 minutes! 
it was a truly amazing experience and i attribute it ALL to the Lord 
and to all of the people in my life that remind me to look to Him

Remember to look to the Lord in all things
Doubt not, Fear not

Read my Farewell Talk




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